Getting to Know Your Nervous System: A Gentle Introduction to Polyvagal Theory

Polyvagal Theory is a concept that’s showing up more often in therapy spaces—and for good reason. It offers a useful framework for understanding how our nervous system responds to stress, connection, and safety. But like a lot of scientific language that makes its way into mental health conversations, it can feel a little dense or confusing. I’d like to offer a simple, grounded introduction that can help you connect the dots between your body, your emotions, and your lived experiences.

So what is Polyvagal Theory?

Polyvagal Theory was developed by Dr. Stephen Porges. It describes how the autonomic nervous system, which is in charge of things like heart rate, digestion, and breathing, also shapes how we experience the world—especially when it comes to connection and threat.

Most of us are familiar with the idea of “fight or flight.” That’s part of the picture, but not the whole story. Polyvagal Theory identifies three primary states of the nervous system:

• Ventral Vagal: This is the state of safety and connection. When we’re here, we feel grounded, open, and engaged. There’s a sense of ease in the body.

• Sympathetic Activation: This is the mobilization state. We might feel anxious, panicked, angry, or on edge. Our bodies are getting us ready to respond to a threat.

• Dorsal Vagal: This is the shutdown or freeze response. It might show up as disconnection, numbness, fatigue, or a sense of collapse.

Each of these states serves a purpose. They’re not signs that something is wrong with you—they’re signs that your nervous system is trying to protect you. The challenge comes when we get stuck in one of these states, especially when the response doesn’t match what’s actually happening in the present.

Why does this matter?

When you understand your nervous system, it becomes easier to meet yourself with compassion. You might start to recognize, “Oh, I’m in a sympathetic state right now,” instead of feeling like you’re just falling apart. It gives you language and context for what’s happening internally.

Many of the folks I work with have histories of trauma, marginalization, or relational rupture. These experiences shape how the nervous system learns to respond. What might have been a protective response in the past can become a stuck pattern in the present. That’s not a failure—it’s just your body doing its best.

In therapy, we work with these patterns gently and respectfully. That might mean using the breath, exploring movement, or finding ways to reestablish a sense of safety and connection. This somatic work can sometimes be a slower process, but it is incredibly powerful. Over time, people often notice that they feel more choice, more ease, and more connection to themselves and others.

A few simple practices to try

Below are a few somatic exercises you can experiment with to help your system shift out of a stuck state. They’re not meant to be fixes—just invitations to tune in and offer your body some support.

1. Orienting to your environmentLook around the room you’re in. Let your eyes move slowly and notice what they’re drawn to. You might name a few things you see, or even say them out loud. This helps signal to your nervous system that you’re in a safe space and not under threat.

2. Grounding through your feetPlace your feet flat on the floor. Press them down gently and see if you can notice the contact between your feet and the ground. You might even shift your weight a bit side to side or forward and back. Feeling that connection with the earth can bring a sense of stability.

3. Long, gentle exhalesTake a breath in through your nose, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Try making the exhale a few seconds longer than the inhale. This kind of breathing can help bring your system back toward regulation, especially if you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

These practices are simple, but with repetition and intention, they can begin to shift how your system responds over time. If something doesn’t feel good or right for you, it’s always okay to skip it. The goal isn’t to do them perfectly, but to build a relationship with your body that’s curious and kind.

A closing thought

You don’t need to memorize the names of these states or try to “fix” anything about yourself. What matters is that your body is speaking, and there are ways to listen that are kind, supportive, and wise. That’s where the work begins.